4. The Worst Part: Apple Developer Hell
Welcome to the lowest of lows: setting up your Apple Developer Account.
If you thought building the app was the hard bit, buckle up - because this part is somehow worse. It's paperwork, bureaucracy, and Apple's very special brand of "planned obsolescence as a service."
Let's go.
Step 1: You Need an Apple ID (And a Mac. Of Course.)
First things first, you'll need an Apple ID. Easy enough - just fill out your details here: 👉 https://account.apple.com/account
Do the usual verification dance so Apple knows exactly who you are and can track you for life.
Now here's the kicker: to actually ship apps, you must have a Mac. Not optional. Not negotiable. If you don't own one, you don't even get to play.
This is, in my opinion, one of the most disgusting, anti-consumer practices in the entire tech industry. But hey, these are the same people who dragged their feet on USB-C for a decade, so don't expect logic.
Step 2: Into the Developer Portal
Once you've got your Apple ID: 👉 https://developer.apple.com/account
Here you'll see your "account." Except you can't actually do anything yet. You'll need to enroll.
Click that big shiny "Enroll" button, accept Apple's terms like you're signing your soul away, and ignore their spammy "marketing preferences."
Congrats, you've now reached the gates of hell.
Step 3: Organisation or Personal?
Here's where the pain splits:
Personal account → You're lucky. Fill in a few forms, hand over your money, and you're good.
Organisation account → Welcome to the DUNS number nightmare.
I went the organisation route for CutCompass, and this is where things got real fun.
Step 4: The Infamous DUNS Number
If you're outside the US, this part makes absolutely no sense. Apple requires you to have a DUNS number (a business identifier from Dun & Bradstreet) to prove you're a legit company.
As an Australian, I will never use this number again. But without it, you can't move forward.
👉 https://developer.apple.com/enroll/duns-lookup/
If you already have one, great.
If you don't, you get to request one. This takes up to 5 business days. Which means your two-hour setup just turned into a week-long waiting game.
CutCompass didn't have one, so yep - I had to wait.
Step 5: Hurry Up and Wait
Once you've got your DUNS, you can finally finish enrollment. Fill in your details again (because apparently Apple doesn't already know them).
Then Apple disappears into a back room to "verify" you. Translation: they'll take their sweet time to decide if you're worthy. For me, it took about half a day. For you, maybe longer.
Eventually, you'll get an email: "Congratulations, you may now give us money."
Step 6: Pay the Toll
The final step is handing over $149 USD per year for the privilege of existing in Apple's ecosystem.
Yep, not a one-off fee like Google Play's $25. A yearly subscription to pain.
Once you've paid, congratulations: you can finally create and publish apps on the App Store.
But don't get too excited - publishing is its own minefield. Provisioning profiles, certificates, reviews, and more will make you wish you'd stayed in web development.
Survival Tips (From Someone Who Just Did It)
Organisation vs Personal: If you're just testing, start with personal. You can swap later.
Mac requirement: If you don't own one, you're buying one. No workaround.
DUNS wait time: Budget at least a week if you don't already have one.
Save your sanity: Keep a coffee nearby. Or whiskey. Or both.
Coming Up Next
Now that we've survived Apple's onboarding gauntlet, we'll pivot to Google - which, by comparison, feels like a warm hug.
Spoiler: it's cheaper, faster, and doesn't make you cry.